Monday, September 18, 2006

Ready to explain

It has been a very tough weekend.  I just wanted to take off.   Just go.  Not sure where just away.  Well it all started when I went to visit my mother and sister.  I love them very much but I am so different.  I got married the fall after I graduated. Had a baby 1 month after my 1st anniversary.  I also married a visionary.  He sees something and thinks of how it can be fixed.  He is always ready for another adventure.  I never pictured myself coming up to my tenth anniversary having moved 20 different times.  Living in an old church that needs fixed up.  We can not heat the auditorium because it is to drafty so we are once again all moving into an upstairs room for the winter.  With 6 children in that one room.


Well I had to listen to my mother talk about how my sister is the perfect mother,  how she is struggling with no sleep, my sister had just told me she was giving up her sleep so she would have a clean home.  I wanted to see my sister and her new little one and when I got to her home I once again realized that visiting there makes me down.  Her home is perfect.   I kid you not you could come in at any time and take photos for the cover of Better Homes and Gardens.  She even had a watercolor picture on an esel in one corner.  We went in to visit and she appologized for not having the carpets cleaned.  I guess she cleans them on a regular basis. 


I am so unlike my sister.  I am not a neat freak like she is.  I live in my house and she does also it is just that she likes to keep it as neat as possible,  I just keep ours liveable. 


So that is what is going on.  It always takes me a while to get back to where I need to be.  I am not ungrateful for all that my Mr. Visionary does.  And I know I am where God wants me to be it is just hard to see all that some one else has and takes for granted.  I need to get my focus back onto the Lord and the wonderful blessings he has provided for me.

1 comment:

Pattisea said...

I know how hard it is to hear about "the perfect one"!

(NOTE: I am not the perfect one LOL). I have to keep reminding myself that my Father in Heaven is the only one (ultimately) that I need to please and He knows my WHOLE story!

(That comforts me a great deal when other folk can't seem to understand why I live, think or act the way that I do!)

I will keep you in prayer; Sometimes the church folk forget that Mrs. Preacher needs prayer, too!


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