Mean Mama

Someday when my children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates a parent, I
will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:

I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were
going, with whom, and what time you would be
home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you
discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to make you go pay for the
bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk, "I
stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."

I loved you enough to stand over you for two
hours while you cleaned your room, a job that
should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger,
disappointment , and tears in my eyes. Children
must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh they almost broke my
heart .

But most of all, I loved you enough to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm
glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.

And someday when your children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates parents, you
will tell them.

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the
meanest mother in the whole world! While other
kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have
cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi
and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat
sandwiches . And you can guess our mother fixed us
a dinner that was different from what other kids
had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all
times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison.

She had to know who our friends were, and what we
were doing with them. She insisted that if we
said we would be gone for an hour, we would be
gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the
nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us
work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds,
learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry,
empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I
think she would lie awake at night thinking of
more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the
whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

By the time we were teenagers, she could read our
minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then,
life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the
horn when they drove up. They had to come up to
the door so she could meet them. While everyone
else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had
to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of
things other kids experienced. None of us have
ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing
other's property or ever arrested for any crime.
It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated,
honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean
parents just like Mom was.

I think that is what's wrong with the world
today .
It just doesn't have enough mean moms!