Friday, September 10, 2010

So Not the Duggar Family

I am sitting here with my cup of coffee and listening to the sounds of 8 kids sleeping.  Yes only 8.  And yes they are still in bed.  

It has been very different around here lately with Papa working in a different town.  So from Tuesday morning, EARLY morning till Saturday night I am a single parent with 8 kids.  And that has revealed so much to me in the past few weeks.

First off I am/was a lazy parent.  Yup you heard that admission here first.  I love having the kiddos don't get me wrong. I cherish them but I really let things go around the house.  And it wasn't pretty.  Then we put our home on the market.  We are praying it sells so we can move to the town where Papa's job is.  

So when I got that call for a showing I looked around and panicked.  They want to go through my house!!!!
It had to be cleaned.  And so hubby helped on his one day off and helped me get it in order.  And I found that it is so much better for our days here.   There is something about having order in the home that makes it so much more pleasant here. 

Secondly when you go to a store with 8 kids in tow people love to stare and sometimes as questions.  I was in the check out and had the 2 boys at the end of the cart putting groceries in.  The baby was in the cart as were the 2 preschoolers.  (Gotta love the carts with the benches on them)  I had the rest of the kiddos sitting on a bench right in my line of view.  The cashier wanted to know if we watch the Duggar show.  Yes, I have.  And did we use the buddy system.  Now to me the buddy system means when we go out I have a little guy holding an older kids hand.  Just so I don't lose one of them.  But as I researched the buddy system a little more I realized it was a way to have massive amounts of children without doing the work of having that many kids.  

Yeah I did just write that, you can read it again if you want to.  I mean don't get me wrong we ALL help out.  If I am getting shoes on a toddler I will ask the older ones to help get a diaper bag ready.  I really try to use a please with that also.  And yes my asking is a command here but I want the kids to know that I appreciate their help  (No I am not saying the Duggar's don't appreciate their older childrens help)  But I am the one who had this many children and as such I am the one who has decided to take care of them.  Not my kiddos.  

Something I noticed when reading up on the buddy system is each of the older kids is responsible for the little ones.  Not the mama.  A quote from the people article just said it all.  says Michelle, 43. "That was the scariest part for me, having the full responsibility of her care on my shoulders ... It was intimidating."   Ok who did she think was gonna care for the baby?  Hasn't she had other babies.  And yes I know that the baby was born early but I am sure the hospital wouldn't have sent the baby home unless it was ready and I am sure they taught her how to care for the baby.

But even with out the new baby in the picture I realized that Mrs. Duggar has the kids doing the vast majority of the work.  When hubby and I finally sat down and hashed out all that was going on here in our own home I realized that God has called me to be the keeper of this home.  Not my children.  I will teach them and train them to do chores so that they will be capable adults but I will NOT saddle each of my older kids to a younger child and make that child the older kids responsibility.  

So what are we doing here~More on that later


Linda said...

I agree. I "only" have 6 kids. lol We never used the buddy system, even though ours are spread out age wise. They helped out, yes, usually with the housework or meal prep, while I took care of my babies. My kids are now 24, 22, 15, 14, 11 & 10, and the baby gets extremely upset if I call him the baby. lol I'm now looking forward to grandchildren so I can spoil them. Or do my kids housework, so THEY can spend lots of time with their babies. :)

Saleslady371 said...

I appreciate your thoughts on child rearing. Sounds like you have a wonderful family! Your blog looks beautifully autumn.

Mrs. B, a very peculiar person said...

Hi Mrs. B,

The other Mrs. B here ... I know what you are talking about, being a "single mom" while hubby works out of town. My Mr. B has been working almost 2,000 miles away for over 18 months now.

My prayers are with you AND your family.

Mrs.B (the other other)

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